Reaching Out with Hope for the Broken
with Infidelity Recovery through Christian Counseling

Infidelity pounds at the very core foundation of a marriage. It can rip a heart out but the good news is that it doesn’t necessarily mean the marriage has to end in a divorce. With dedication by both partners and a commitment to rebuilding the relationship, there are many couples who not only make it through infidelity but become even stronger because of it because they grow closer rather than apart.

If you are looking to Santa Monica Christian Counseling for help with an infidelity issue, you have come to the right place. The counselors at Santa Monica Christian Counseling specialize in marital problems that are a result of infidelity. They will help you in your journey to find forgiveness, healing,and wholeness in infidelity recovery. We strive to guide you through the crisis to a life of happiness that lies beyond.



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The word “infidelity” has taken on new meaning in the desensitized society in which we live. Having affairs, pornography and sexual content websites are commonplace these days. Some people don’t even raise an eyebrow when they learn someone is cheating unless it happens to be their own spouse. Infidelity is the act of being unfaithful in a sexual or emotional situation. It has many interpretations, however.

Some people believe that having a relationship online that is never acted on physically is not really cheating, but Christ tells us that just the act of looking at another is being unfaithful. God desires for us to cling to our spouse and not to another.

He wants your marriage to be God-centered and strong, a three-corded bond that is not easily broken. If you have found yourself in a situation where that cord is broken and your heart is broken as well, you can trust the Christ-focused infidelity counselors in Santa Monica to help you work through it. Don’t go it alone. We are here for you.

A Christian Counseling Story of Successful Recovery from an Affair

Part 1: The Initial Discovery

Joan’s world began to crumble to the moment she found the email. A photograph of her husband and a mutual coworker (the three worked at the same place) were nude on the bed, and the message below it that said, “Looking forward to next time,” was etched in her mind. The memory of it tormented her, day and night.She had been betrayed by the person she most trusted most.

A whirlwind of emotions flew over her – sadness, fury, shock and fear. Nothing her husband could say could calm her.“Leave, now!” she had stormed, wondering how he could have done such a thing to her.

Does this story speak to you? If so, know that you are not the only one who has gone through the pain of infidelity. At Santa Monica Christian Counseling, we are here to help you get through it and find full recovery.

Affairs: Why do People Have Them?

The reason people have affairs vary. There are a number of sexual and emotional causes that may be present. Sometimes, infidelity stems from personal issues, like low self-esteem, alcohol or drug abuse, or even sex addiction. The causes are complex, vast and can greatly vary so much that it can be hard to pinpoint the exact reason. Common reasons for infidelity include:

  • Sexual needs that are not being fulfilled.
  • Unresolved, persistent conflicts within the marriage.
  • Disconnection emotionally between the spouses.
  • Love addiction and sex addiction.
  • Crossing over from a friend relationship to a romantic relationship – in person or online.
  • Being in an environment where infidelity is accepted and commonplace.

It is important to find out why the affair took place in order to proceed with moving forward. This may require the spouse’s help. At Santa Monica Christian Counseling, we offer a safe place to work through the process and to come up with answers so solutions can be reached.

Part 2: After the Affair

Joan remained separated from Nick, although the other woman left the workplace because Nick ended the relationship with her. Joan found life almost unbearable but found the possibility of getting a divorce even more so. The two decided to seek Christian counseling for recovery from infidelity.

Infidelity-focused counseling offers couples hope for their marriage. At Santa Monica Christian counseling for infidelity recovery offers hope for couples in crisis as they strive to find long-lasting solutions to rebuild their relationship.

An Affair’s Effect

Infidelity almost always ends with devastating consequences. When an affair comes into the light, it is normal for both of the spouses to experience anxiety, confusion and even depression. Grief is also usually part of the equation and it is important for each of the partners to express and experience it in their own personal way.

The spouse who was betrayed might suffer:

  • Trust issues. One who has been hurt will often have feelings of doubt and may find it very difficult to trust the person who hurt them. This is natural and can be worked through but it does require effort and time to heal. The trust issues may extend to trust in God and in themselves as well as in regards to the involved partner. With God’s help and the counselor’s skill and devotion, this can be worked through and the injured spouse can find a new level of wholeness and healing.
  • Stress from trauma. An affair can leave deep scars on the one who was betrayed which can be very stressful and is considered a trauma. The issues will need to be worked through but Christ’s love covers a multitude of sins and recovery is fully possible.
  • Low self-esteem. It is not uncommon to feel like you are inferior because your spouse went outside the marriage for his or her needs. The more the hurt partner looks to God for his or her identity and source of love, the more their self-esteem can begin to be restored.

The spouse who was involved might experience:

  • Grief over the loss of the affair. It is not unusual for the involved spouse to grieve whatever he was getting out of the affair or even the removal of the person he or she was involved with. The involved spouse may also grieve the marriage that is now in shambles.
  • Fear of un-forgiveness by God and/or their spouse. Forgiveness (with humans) is never guaranteed and that can be frightening to someone who has done wrong.
  • Guilt and regret. There is a difference between feeling sorry for doing something and repenting and experiencing unproductive feelings of guilt.

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Infidelity causes harm to marriages and to families. It’s common for the involved one to not realize the full implications and impact the affair has on all who are concerned. Some of the effects include:

  • Feelings of insecurity and inadequacy within the relationship.
  • Emotional conflicts and arguments.
  • Loss of intimacy and trust.
  • Feelings of anxiety, depression, and confusion.

Infidelity is a leading cause when it comes to divorce. With Christ’s help, however, your chances for restoration and change are much greater and the sooner you turn to him in faith, the better.

Part 3: The Road to Recovery

Joan and her spouse worked through some very difficult things like grief and anger. Nick realized the pain he had caused his wife and longed to take it away.

The results of infidelity are despairing and confusing. Christ-focus counseling after an affair will help your entire family begin to find wholeness and healing.

Surviving Infidelity With Counseling

One of the first things you will want to do if you are seeking Christian counseling is to determine if you are willing to save and restore the marriage or not. Our stance is to encourage each of the spouses to remain open to the recovery of the marriage during the course of counseling.

Infidelity Recovery– Best Practices Of Christ-Focused Counseling

The complete and utter brokenness experienced due to infidelity is very difficult to deal with. The purpose of recovery through Christian counseling is to provide both spouses a safe environment in which to express emotions as they are leaning on the everlasting arms of Christ.

Within the sessions, each partner is encouraged to unveil the secrecy so they can become transparent, honest, and closer. This can be accomplished through:

  • Building an environment that is safe
  • Fully disclosing everything

Post-Affair Trust Rebuilding

It’s impossible to know how you would react to infidelity unless it actually happens to you. The recovery process is the same. There’s no universal healing technique. One thing remains true through– Jesus Christ can heal the brokenhearted. God created you for a purpose and He can rebuild your marriage and your trust. The process of regaining trust requires things from both partners including:

  • Risk – Being willing to trust again means you will have to be vulnerable to some extent. It is difficult, especially at first, but does get easier for most.
  • Accountability – The unfaithful party must know and admit that his or her behaviors and actions were wrong and understand the effects that it caused.
  • Answer and ask questions – The willingness of the spouse who was involved to answer questions in regard to the infidelity during counseling is imperative. The spouse who was the victim of the affair must learn to constructively ask questions in an appropriate and non-accusing manner.
  • Set expectation that are realistic – The betrayed on will need to walk through healing and also the process of redemption which means forgiveness. The involved one will need to take a good look at his or her marriage expectations to determine if they are realistic or irrational.
  • Forgiveness – Forgiveness is possible with Christ’s help. When it is given and received, a new beginning can take place.

Part 4: Forgiveness and the Future

Although it was difficult, Nick and Joan worked through the infidelity issues and repaired their damaged marriage. Joan stopped blaming herself and Nick got to know himself and his wife on an all new level. Together, they found happiness once again.

In the event that your spouse and you are ready for a commitment to enter into recovery from an affair, the infidelity counselors at Santa Monica Christian Counseling are dedicated to equipping you with the tools you will need to find healing and happiness. Counseling on an individual basis is available too.

Christian Counseling FAQ’S For Recovering From Infidelity

You can absolutely benefit from attending Christian counseling by yourself for infidelity healing and recovery. The trained counselors in Santa Monica are devoted to helping wounded marriages find healing. We also provide spousal support to those who have suffered betrayal. Either way, counseling can assist you in processing your emotions, learning how to constructively express them, and in moving forward.

There’s no certain set length of time counseling takes as each individual heals in their own time. Some couples complete counseling in a few months while others take years. Rest assured, however, that your counselor will be committed to helping you as long as need be.

Santa Monica Christian Counseling is happy to work with a variety of insurance providers. We are also available to answer any questions you may have about payment and the options you may have. Contact us for more information about your specific coverage.

There is hope eternal in Christ. No one can guarantee that every couple will experience the outcome they desire, but we passionately strive to guide you, as well as your spouse, from the painful place you are at into one where recovery and healing abound.

Reclaim Your Life With Christ-Centered Counseling For Recovery From Infidelity

To find out more concerning Christ-centered counseling for recovery of infidelity, or in order to set up your initial risk-free session with Santa Monica Christian Counseling, please contact our office online or reach out to us at (424) 361-6197.

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