Couples Counseling: When Should You Seek It?

Every relationship looks a little different from others. Everyone brings their quirks, gifts, strengths, and stories of hurt into whatever situation they find themselves in. All relationships will go through their tough seasons and rough patches, just as they have their more idyllic seasons and moments. These ups and downs can be the result of life circumstances such as loss, but they can also stem from unhealthy relationship dynamics. Couples counseling can help.

One of the ways to address issues and concerns when they crop up in a romantic relationship is to go for couples counseling. With the help of a trained professional, the couple can take a fresh look at their relationship, learn new skills, acquire tools to address the thorny problems that cause them distress, and begin addressing their concerns so that they deepen their intimacy and resolve conflict.

When couples are going through a difficult time, the question they may wrestle with is when to seek help from a counselor. They may hesitate because of the cost of counseling, because they are unfamiliar with the process, due to the stigma attached to seeking counseling, or because they may feel like counseling signals failure, and many other reasons. However, these reasons and others shouldn’t prevent a couple from seeking the help they need.

Concerns that couples counseling addresses

Couples counseling is a form of psychotherapy or talk therapy that seeks to address the concerns that a romantic couple has about their relationship and circumstances. The counselor will get to know the couple and their unique needs and work with them to set up a treatment plan to address their concerns. Using various therapeutic techniques, the counselor will help the couple develop their communication and enhance their intimacy.

Christian couples counseling will use the same evidence-based therapeutic techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy or emotionally focused therapy that other counselors use. Additionally, a Christian couples counselor will also use Scripture, prayer, and Christian resources such as books as part of the process. Whichever option you choose, you will receive excellent, compassionate, and informed care.

Couples counseling addresses a broad range of concerns, and some of these include the following:

• Difficulties with communication.
• Loss of intimacy.
• Dealing with illness, such as depression, schizophrenia, or anxiety.
• Loss of trust through infidelity, whether emotional, sexual, or financial infidelity.
• Conflict.
• Financial issues.
• Goal setting.
• Grief and loss through the death of a loved one.
• Setting healthy boundaries with each other and in-laws.
• Parenting and parenting styles, as well as discipline.
• Roles and expectations in the family.
• Family planning, including whether and how many children to have.
• Infertility.
• Adoption and blended family issues.
• Divorce.
• Stress.
• Career changes.
• Midlife crisis and other major life changes like menopause or an empty nest.
• Trauma.
• Childhood abandonment and neglect issues resulting in problems with intimacy.
• Anger management problems.
• Abuse, including emotional and physical abuse.

Whatever your concern is, it’s important to explore the counseling options available. Reach out to a counseling practice to inquire whether they address your particular areas of concern.

Is it right for you?

Couples counseling is a tool couples have to help resolve issues in their relationship. Unfortunately, some unhelpful attitudes and even fear can stand in the way of couples getting the help they sorely need. Some couples may think that if they go for counseling, they may as well say out loud that their relationship is falling apart and is basically over. Others may struggle with privacy and confidentiality issues.

Understanding how counseling and therapy work will help to alleviate many fears. Your time with your counselor is confidential, and your counselor will approach you with professionalism, empathy, and understanding; the counseling space is a safe and non-judgmental one where you can explore a variety of concerns, including more delicate matters. Going for counseling is simply using a tool to resolve the issues in your relationship.

A couple should consider going for counseling if they have experienced a major life event that impacts one or both of them directly. This may be a traumatic event like a near-fatal traffic accident, or because infidelity occurs in the relationship, or they have experienced loss. These events and others can be difficult to process, and they can affect how a couple relates to one another, in subtle and obvious ways.

Additionally, if a couple finds that they are often mired in conflict, whether over the same thing or otherwise, they should also consider counseling. The same goes for when they simply stop fighting, not because they have resolved the issues, but because they have decided to avoid conflict and stopped engaging with each other altogether.

Similarly, if a couple doesn’t communicate much, or they find that their level of intimacy and sense of connection has diminished, they can seek help from a counselor. You don’t have to wait until there is a full-blown crisis to take advantage of the many benefits of Christian counseling in Santa Monica. Reach out to a counselor at Santa Monica Christian Counseling in California today to explore your options and get the help you need.