We all get angry sometimes. Far from being a negative thing, experiencing anger can be a good thing as it can give you a way to express negative feelings and it can work as a strong motivation for you to find solutions to pressing problems.

The American Psychological Association defines anger as “an emotion characterized by antagonism toward someone or something you feel has deliberately done you wrong.” (APA) They go on to say that feeling anger is not the problem, rather having excessive and uncontrolled anger can be a serious issue.

The physical changes associated with anger such as increased blood pressure, tensed muscles, and tunnel vision make it difficult to think straight and can harm your physical and mental health.

Anger issues are quite common, with a significant part of the population (around 7.8% to 8.9%) of Americans having intense, poorly controlled, or inappropriate levels of anger. This type of anger not only has health implications, but can contribute to relationship problems, substance abuse, or even legal issues.

When you have excessive anger, and that anger is poorly controlled, it may feel like anger starts to come to the surface during inappropriate times and situations. This can make it harder to communicate clearly and effectively. You may even find yourself acting in ways that cause harm to others.

If you have the sense that your feelings of anger are more in control of you than you are in control of them, or if you can think of times that your reactions to feeling angry have had a personal or professional cost, you should consider seeking anger management counseling.

Understanding anger management counseling.

Anger management counseling is one important way to address issues with anger. In anger management counseling an individual works with their therapist to address issues relating to their anger, and this includes:

Getting to the root of those issues with anger.

Understanding the origin of a problem helps one deal with it at its source so you’re not just dealing with the symptoms or manifestations of it.

Uncontrolled anger may be the result of unaddressed chronic stress, learned behavior in which unhealthy anger was modeled or encouraged, or it can be a symptom of mental health challenges such as depression or bipolar disorder. Depending on the root cause of the anger issues, the way to address them will differ.

Learning healthy ways of managing anger.

Anger is an emotion that can and should be expressed, but this must be done in a way that respects the dignity of others. Explosive anger which results in insulting others or otherwise harming them through word or deed is a common form of unhealthy anger. In anger management counseling, your counselor will help you understand how to express anger constructively.

Gaining insight into why you get angry and behave in certain ways when you feel angry.

Each individual has their own triggers for anger and understanding these as well as how your anger progresses helps to control that anger. These insights are important for you to heal and improve how you deal with your feelings of anger.

Tackling issues that are connected with or result from unhealthy expressions of anger.

Unhealthy expressions of anger are often connected to issues such as domestic violence, substance abuse, or other mental health concerns like anxiety. Due to anger, there are also often a lot of relational issues as relationships are broken when anger gets out of control.

In anger management counseling, your counselor may use several types of therapy to help bring anger under control. After initially consulting with you and getting to know your story, your counselor will put together a treatment plan tailored to meet your unique needs.

Some people may need medication prescribed to deal with the underlying issues in addition to talk therapy, while others will only need talk therapy to help them work through their anger. Whatever your situation, your counselor will walk with you to tackle your anger using the most effective methods available.

Some of the therapeutic techniques used include Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) which is a type of anger management therapy that involves identifying thoughts that may be causing or intensifying your anger. When you get angry, those feelings of anger can be amplified because of the behaviors and ruminating that happen afterward.

If someone angers you by cutting you off in traffic, you might be inclined to react in anger or seek retribution, perhaps by honking your horn or trying to cut them off too. You may set yourself down a path of thinking negative thoughts about the person. Those thoughts can give birth to yet more negative thoughts, and it snowballs from there.

CBT can help you determine when such thoughts and actions are excessive, and it can help you to reframe those unhelpful thoughts to draw you away from unhelpful behaviors.

Another therapy that may be helpful is psychodynamic therapy, which helps you by focusing on self-reflection and a deeper exploration of your anger issues. Often, one gets angry but doesn’t truly understand why they get angry.

Psychodynamic therapy helps one uncover any potential reasons for anger that are lurking beneath the surface. This form of therapy will also help one cultivate the necessary skills they need to manage anger in a healthy way so that loved ones aren’t negatively affected.

These therapies named above can take place in a one-to-one context with your therapist, but one can also benefit from doing them in a group context. Group therapy draws together people that are working through similar experiences, and the group is led by a skilled counselor to work through their concerns and gain skills to manage anger well.

Group therapy provides more opportunities for support as others in the group can offer insights into how they’ve overcome certain challenges with anger, and the group can hold one another accountable as well as work together to help each other manage their anger better.

Signs you may need therapy for anger issues.

How can you tell if you have issues with anger and ought to consider going for anger management counseling? Anger management counseling is typically a commitment of 4 to 6 weeks of one-hour-long weekly sessions, and there is a financial cost involved as well.

Issues with anger that require anger management counseling can manifest in a variety of ways, and these include the following:

• You struggle to remain calm during challenging conversations, and you are easily involved in arguments.
• You get frustrated easily.
• You struggle to control your actions when you are angry.
• You’ve gotten in trouble with the law over your anger.
• Small things almost always escalate and turn into big things.
• You find yourself getting extremely angry and erupting over small things that shouldn’t be an issue.
• You’ve damaged professional and personal relationships due to things you’ve said and/or done while angry.
• You have prolonged periods of anger lasting more than 30 minutes at a stretch, and you take a long while to cool down when you’re angry.
• Your loved ones have raised concerns over your anger.
• Your anger results in physical violence toward others such as domestic violence or other harm such as damage to property.
• You seem to be angry most of the time, and it seems like your dominant mood is anger over something.
• Your anger plays a role in contributing to your overall mental health or pre-existing mental health conditions.
• When you express your anger, you tend to resort to yelling or screaming at others.
• Your anger is leading to problems with your physical health.
• You are intentionally causing harm to animals.

If you or your loved ones see these behaviors in you, they may be pointing to anger issues that require the intervention of anger management counseling.

How anger management counseling can help you.

There are many benefits to undergoing anger management counseling. Getting your anger under control is beneficial for your physical and mental health. Uncontrolled anger not only weakens your immune system and makes you more prone to cardiac issues, high blood pressure, and stroke, but it can deepen one’s depression and anxiety. Ridding oneself of unbridled anger will help to reduce these health risks.

Anger issues often lead to damaged relationships. Anger management counseling will help reduce the impact of your anger on the people around you, and it often helps you acknowledge and deal with the damage already done in those relationships. Your loved ones will be thankful that your anger is better regulated.

Anger management counseling helps you constructively express your anger. Instead of keeping it pent up, or expressing it as an angry outburst, anger ought to be expressed assertively and clearly so that doesn’t undermine the well-being of others. Being able to express anger in this way will help you maintain healthy boundaries in your relationships, which will help your relationships flourish.

Being controlled by anger is not the way God intended our lives to be.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4: 29-32, NIV

These words from Paul challenge us and alert us to the destructive potential of anger as well as the benefits of replacing anger with the virtues of compassion and kindness. Lives that are marked by anger are contrary to what God desires for people (James 1:19-20). Uncontrolled anger often leads us toward unwholesome talk, and that does nothing positive for us and the people around us.

If you want to deal with uncontrolled anger in your life, you can find help through anger management counseling. Your counselor will help you develop the tools you need to deal effectively with anger, bringing it under control and expressing it in healthy ways.