Are You In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

Not all bruises are visible. Emotional abuse, also referred to as mental or psychological abuse, wounds your mind and self-esteem. It tries to rob you of your confidence. The abuser may not even consider themselves to be abusive since they are not physically harming their victim, but the lasting effects of an emotionally abusive relationship can last years.

Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

Emotional abuse can have subtle signs. Instead of black eyes, this abuse is turned inward. It attacks self-esteem, confidence, and self-worth. It can lead to negative self-talk and intrusive thoughts. These thoughts can lead to harmful behaviors.

For example, if a woman is constantly criticized for not being “pretty enough” or looking “homely,” she may draw inward, isolating herself from others. Her confidence drops, and she no longer makes eye contact with others or challenges herself to grow. Instead, she walks on eggshells to keep her abuser from insulting her.

She begins to believe that she is not bright or pretty. By his actions, her abuser makes her think that no one will want her, so she must stay under his control. She may adopt behaviors that reaffirm this lie.

This is only one example, but emotionally abusive relationships can also happen with women who manipulate the men in their lives or between people who are not romantically involved, such as family members or toxic friends.

The following are signs of an emotionally abusive relationship:

Verbal abuse The classic name-calling and insults that tend to mark an emotionally abusive relationship. There is no excuse for calling someone a name or berating them to make them do what you want.

Neglect Neglect and abandonment are tactics to make someone believe they will be left alone without their abuser. They may withhold affection or basic needs, such as not paying the utilities, withholding running water, electricity, or food.

Projection Abusers often project their insecurities or actions onto others. For example, a wife may accuse her husband of cheating on her even if he has never done anything to lead her to believe this about him. To prove he is not cheating, he may stay in constant contact with her, afraid to miss a call or text. The likelihood that she is cheating on him may be a reality.

Humiliation An emotional abuser will humiliate with names, jokes, or sarcasm to humiliate their victim. They may do this alone or in public. When their victim reacts, they may make it seem like the person is crazy or “flipping out.” This tactic is known as gaslighting. They purposely say and do things to demean and belittle the victim’s endeavors and accomplishments to make themselves feel better.

Ignoring When an abuser does not get their way, they may employ the silent treatment as a tactic to manipulate and control their victim. They may ignore and dismiss any input from their victim. When someone ignores another’s opinions and comments, that person believes they are not bright enough and have nothing worthwhile to contribute.

Guilt trips Making someone regret not doing something for you is an emotional abuser’s common tactic. Guilt trips leave the victim feeling shame and guilt for not putting the abuser first. The abuser blames the victim for everything wrong in their lives. The abuser places priority on themselves and may tell the victim that they do not care about the abuser because they “never” think about them.

Isolation The abuser may work to isolate their victim from family and friends. They may sow seeds of doubt. For example, the abuser may fill the head of their victim with lies about their friends and family, stating that they cannot be trusted and that they gossip behind their backs. This insidious tactic may happen over months or years. The victim may be unaware of the isolation until they decide to leave the abuser.

If, after reading through the list, you believe you have survived an emotionally abusive relationship, reach out to a counselor today for help. A Christian counselor can help you through the effects of trauma and learn to establish boundaries, end toxic relationships, and find your autonomy once again.

Finding Help for Emotional Abuse

If you suspect you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, contact our center today to speak with a representative who can connect you with a Christian counselor.

We also work with people who have ended an emotionally abusive relationship but are still feeling the effects of that behavior on their lives. Connect with us today to get started on the path toward emotional wellness.